I spent a lot of time this weekend thinking about things. I thought about the ex. I thought about the Advocate. I thought about the miscarriage. It was not good.
Yesterday, back at work, I realised that not having anything to do is rather dangerous for me. I tend to start thinking when I have nothing to do and it gets me down. Being at work, surrounded by people, with lots to do, is a good thing for me. It keeps my mind busy and I need just that.
Speaking of work, it's going really well. I know that I'm pushing myself a little harder than what I should, but essentially, it's for a good cause (that is, my own). At the end of this month, I will be able to concentrate more on my PoE, I hope.
I have decided that I'm going to take up baking. Not as a business, but at home, for the family. I've always enjoyed it and now I have the time and resources to do it. I'll have to go to the shops over the weekend to get some supplies and maybe next weekend, I will be able to produce something yummy.
I don't know why, but I have been very nauseous lately. This morning I woke up at about 3am with my stomach turning. And then just now, on the bus, my stomach did a flip. I started thinking that I could be pregnant, but it's highly unlikely. I've just had my period, after all. It's probably more to do with stress. It's healthy stress, but stress nonetheless. I'm going to the doctor next week anyway, and if there is, by some twist of faith, a little peanut in there, it won't be a bad thing.
There I go again... Wishful thinking...
Now I need to find something to do. So that I stop thinking all of these stupid thoughts.
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