I slept so badly last night. I was exhausted and went to bed at a reasonable time. But then I woke up at 1am. And then 2am. And then 3am. And then 4am. It was horrible. I am feeling out of sorts today as a result.
What also has me feeling out of sorts is an email I got from the ex. He said that he has not been well and he asked me if I wanted to get together for a drink. I replied, obviously. I said that I am rather busy at the moment but that I'd see. The honest truth is that I don't want to see him because it is still just too painful. Even this email has opened the hurt a little. I'm sure that he hasn't been well because he's missing me, at least, I hope he is. But I have been dealing with all of this for 4 months now and I can't allow him back in my life now. I have been moving forward. I can't go back. I really don't think that there is anything left to say to him. I can't save him from whatever he's going through. I have to keep saving myself. I know it's the right thing to do for me, but at the same time, I feel like a horrible person because of it.
In other news, I am going to Cape Town for a meeting on Thursday. It should be interesting. There are a lot of new developments that will be going on at work and this meeting will be taking place so we can discuss them. It's rather exciting.
I just want to get through today and get home for some rest. I'm very sleepy today.
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