Heatwave and No Busses

I got onto a Gautrain bus this morning from Menlyn to Hatfield. It was supposedly the early bus, but I still only made it to the station for my normal train at 6:37. The bus driver was very slow. Once on the train, the driver announced that there would be no busses running today and to please make alternative arrangements. Luckily a co-worker lives close to the Rosebank station and she was happy to swing by on her way onto the office to fetch me. I just think that if taxi drivers were smart, they would have been waiting outside the station, offering cheaper fares to get all these stranded commuters to work. But no. This is Africa, baby.
http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Gautrain-buses-not-running-20111025

We are in the middle of a heatwave at the moment. It was a scorching 36 degrees in Pretoria yesterday and Joburg was at about 32 degrees. Being outside yesterday was like being in an oven. The air felt thick and I had trouble breathing. It was really horrible. The weather people say that it'll start cooling tomorrow. I love summer and I can deal with the heat, but over 30 degrees in Johannesburg is fucking hot! And I don't like how draining it is... It just makes me so tired during the day, but then I struggle to fall asleep at night because I can't get comfortable. It's weird, when I fall asleep, I need to have a bit of the duvet on me otherwise, I struggle to sleep. And with this heat, I don't want the duvet on me, so I have a situation. I wish I could sleep with the fan on, but it dries out my sinuses and I get a sore throat. So I just have to suck it up and deal with it.

The one nice thing about the heat is having that first, ice-cold beer when I get home. It is fucking amazing! I had two ice-cold beers last night and they were both delicious!

I realised this morning that it has been over 3 weeks since I last saw or spoke to him. I've been reading a few women's relationship books and they all say the same thing: If a man really wants you in his life, he will call. And it makes me sad because he hasn't. Not once.

Do I miss him? That's a tricky question. I miss the idealised version of him that I have buried in my heart. But if I ask my head that question and I answer it honestly and based on pure fact, then the answer is no.

What I do miss is the feeling of belonging to something. I miss sharing my life with someone. I miss the intimacy of being in a relationship. But one day I will have all of those things. I won't give myself away to the first guy that comes along. I will be sure that the next man to have me and my time is worth it. I am willing to give a lot in a relationship and the man I give all of that to must be willing to give the same.

I have not become a cynic. I still believe in love. I still believe in romance. I still believe in the knight in shining armour fairytale. I still believe that one day my prince will come.