In our department, one of the teams is comprised of a number of spies, their manager being the biggest spy and brown-noser of them all. I had shared a space with them on our floor, but was moved when their team grew. It was wonderful. Then last week, I found out that they were going to move because their team grew some more... Where did the move to? Right in front of me. Wonderful. Fucking wonderful. One of the guys is creepy as all hell. He flirted with me at Olwazini last week and made me feel very uncomfortable. Mr Creepy now sits right in front of me. God dammit, I'm irritated. I just want to be left alone. This group is comprised of the biggest suck-ups in this place. It's so frustrating.
The sad part is very sad. A co-worker who went on maternity leave in the beginning of July came to visit today with her month-old baby girl. She was beautiful. I held that little baby in my arms and it just felt so right, so natural. And it felt so sad, because six weeks ago, I miscarried my precious little angel. I managed to hold the tears back until I went for a smoke with my friend Zee. Then the tears came. And they are still coming. That precious little baby reminded me of every dream I had for mine. And yes, for someone who has never wanted kids, I think I'm starting to change my mind about that. I want a baby. It felt so natural to hold her. I know I'd be fucking good at it. One day, I'll have the most beautiful, most precious little baby. Until then, I'll think of my precious little angel, feel a little sad and then realise that wherever she is, she is fine and my abuelita is looking after her.
Mood: Crying
Now Playing: Life of Agony
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