It would be in the best interests of everyone around me to stay as far away from me as possible today. I feel like a ticking time-bomb, seconds away from detonating.
I do not want to do anything. I don't want to be here today, I don't want to have to deal with anyone's shit. I don't want to have to put a smile on my face and pretend that everything is fine. If anyone pushes me today, in the slightest, I will bite, and I will bite hard. Perhaps I will regret it tomorrow, perhaps not. Today there are no guarantees.
Everything irritates me today. The sound of people's voices, transportation - cars, buses, trains, the fact that the office is too warm while it's too cold outside. I'm irritated by the fact that a woman bumped into me and almost made me spill the cappuccino I bought to try cheer myself up. I'm irritated because that cappuccino wasn't nearly hot enough. I'm irritated at that woman at work who makes trouble for everyone. I'm irritated that she sighs to much. I'm irritated with my work friend, who constantly asks me stupid questions. I'm irritated at the surly girl at the office who doesn't even greet people - I may be pissed off today, but at least I still have my manners. I'm irritated at the fact that most days on the train, I just want to be alone and that people that work in my building come and talk to me. I'm irritated because I don't want to be at work. I'm irritated that even a year on, I am still crying, I am still hurting. I'm irritated because people expect me to be ok, I expect me to be ok and I'm not.
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