I don't know if I can get through today. Just had a nasty backwards and forwards with him. And it seems to have ended the way everything ends with him lately... No response from his side.
I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of feeling like shit every day. I'm tired of pretending, even for a second, that I'm not hurting every single day of my miserable life. I hate everything and I hate everyone. I'm so angry at everyone around me. I wish I could hide, forget about the world. I want to hide and hate everything and cry and be angry and throw a fucking temper tantrum without having having anyone judge me and tell me to stop crying and tell me that I'll be ok.
I AM NOT OK!!!!!!
I AM A FUCKING MESS!!!!
I hate being told to calm the fuck down. No one understands that I have lost EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!
He doesn't want me. My own mother hates me. I lost my baby!!!!!!
What the fuck else am I supposed to feel?
Am I supposed to paint a fucking smile on my face and pretend that it doesn't hurt? I can't!!! I am hurting EVERY DAY!!!!!
I wish I could stop hurting!!!!! I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!
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