Spring has Sprung!

It looks as though Spring has finally arrived in South Africa! We have had some beautiful days! I've even worn shorts!!! I am so happy that the weather is getting better. I have never been a fan of winter, in fact, I tend to despise it! So this is a happy time.

Work-wise, things are just going the same way they have always been. Low motivation, feeling bored and annoyed and blah, blah, blah. Same shit, different day.

My emotions are all over the place all the time. I've been single for two months now and it's still taking a lot to get used to it. I haven't been going out a lot and I think it's time to start changing that. I need to distract myself from the fact that I'm fucking lonely. My mom has told me that I just need to get over it already and it makes me angry. It's as though she doesn't seem to realise that this relationship was everything to me for three and a half years and I can't just "get over it" in two months. It's going to take some time. I'm actually starting to get annoyed with myself for still being so miserable. I don't want to cry any more, but the tears just come at random times. I remember the good times and I cry because I miss them. And then I go and do something stupid like read notes I wrote in the last year of the relationship and I realise that it wasn't all the rose-coloured awesomeness I miss. There were some really bad times. I was really unhappy and lost for a long time. Shit, I had times when I cried every day because I didn't know what else to do!!! If I look at how things were going now that I'm out of the relationship, I can see that the chances of it lasting until the end of the year were pretty slim. I mean, I love him and I always will, and I know that he will make some girl very happy one day. It's just that I'm not that girl, and now is not the time. I'm starting to realise this and that means that I'm starting to let him go. No, it hasn't been easy. And there are still some more tough times coming, I'm sure. But that's where I am right now. And I'm ok with that.

Now it's time for lunch.