Calm Waters

After yesterday's emotional outburst, I am feeling a lot calmer today.

Here is the thing... I am going through the grieving process. Most people dealing with grief are only grieving the loss of one thing. I am grieving the loss of two: my relationship and my baby. So every stage I go through is a lot more intense than anything has ever experienced.

I am going through the "Anger" stage, with a touch of depression thrown in for good measure. I think this will be the toughest to get through. I have a lot to be angry about. What many people do not understand is that my anger is not directed at them specifically. I am angry and everyone and everything around me. I have to feel these feelings and express them. If I don't, they will build up inside of me and make me sick.

So that's the way it will be. That's the way it has to be.

People who are offended by me and my anger will either run away or try to fight me. Both will lose. Those that understand will allow me to vent and will end up with a stronger me as a friend.

Here is the link for the Kubler-Ross Model, which explains the stages of grief. Reading will help understand me and my outbursts a lot better.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model